I used to be the queen of absolute meltdowns. I suffered (and still do) from anxiety and anxiety attacks for years. There was a time when I attended monthly therapy sessions and popped anti-anxiety meds daily. Both of these things were a LIFESAVER for me at the time. I was in over my head, and had absolutely no self-coping skills.
A few years later, I decided that I no longer wanted to be dependent on the pills. I knew that we wanted to try to conceive soon, and I had no desire to be on any medications when that miracle did happen. I had miscarried once before and while I couldn't for sure attribute that to my anti-anxiety medication, I also couldn't completely rule that possibility out.
So post-pills, how do I manage the meltdowns? Anxiety doesn't ever really completely go away. I still have my moments. I still have attacks now and again. And I still have to function. With a 6 month old, the option to just "shut down" isn't there. (Yeah, that was one of my old coping mechanisms.)
I cook. I bake. Both of these are therapeutic outlets for me. There is something about creating food that will nourish my and my family's bodies that also nourishes my soul. The chopping. The rolling out of dough. The mixing of batter. The stirring of the pot. All of it is my culinary therapy.
I am also a long time yogi. I really took up yoga after my anxiety got to be too much. My first time going to a class was, well... interesting. I thought for sure that I would NEVER get my body in the positions these women were making look all too easy. But I kept at it. I started going to a weekly yoga class, and I kept improving. Yoga required me to focus on the poses, trying to hold each one. There wasn't room or energy for my repetitive anxious thoughts and worries. And then one day, I noticed a couple of newbies to the class. They were struggling with the poses that I was so easily holding now. Wow... that was me when I first started. Not that I am taking pleasure in the struggles of a novice yogi, but I felt a certain sense of accomplishment. I was making progress. I was getting stronger and better.
I still practice yoga a few times a week in my home. It is amazing how much it centers me.
How do you cope when a meltdown threatens your zen?
