It just occurred to me today that I am no longer going to be the single girl, the cynical girl at the next wedding I have the honor of being invited to. Whoa... Really?? Yep, *that* girl attended her last reception and preceding wedding ceremony last August. And my transformation from the girl who is secretly thinking, "Wow, I am not sure if these 50/50 odds were really worth this couple's parents blowing an insane amount of money on this" to the girl who actually cannot wait to attend her next wedding with her now legally obliged date on her arm, happened so gradually, so naturally that I didn't even really notice the subtle softening of my heart. The cynic that had replaced the girl who had once been so romantic and naive slipped away silently one night, and I hadn't even noticed. Until today...
Today, my iPod slipped to a slower song towards the end of my workout. "Who Are You When I'm Not Looking" by Blake Shelton to be exact. And I instantly thought, "I really hope the next wedding reception I am at, the DJ will play this song and I will dance with my husband to this." Whoa... where in the hell did THAT come from?? Yep, the cynic has left my heart. :)
Now, that is not to say for a minute that I am unrealistic and have my head in the clouds. The husband and I have both been married once before. We both know first hand that sometimes even the journeys we endeavour on with another person with the best of intentions still fails. But it literally took me 8 years after that to find my true love (even if we had met for the first time over 18 years ago). Both of us have been through the letdown and heartbreak of divorce, and years of dating which led to more heartache and disappointments (oh, and in my case, cynicism). So we didn't go into this with the blinders of young, ignorant love on. We entered into this bond as battle hardened realistic (and now often romantic) optimists. We know what we are in for, and what we will have to do- the work that will have to be done every day, the sacrifices and joys we will have to share- to make this work..
It is amazing to me how meeting one person and then allowing myself to open my heart to that person has transformed me in so many small ways that it resulted in one very big and very welcome change in how I now look at the world and that simple word called love...
