Yep, that is the line from the Kevin Costner movie where he plays an Iowa corn farmer who decides to tear up his cornfield and build a regulation approved baseball field (much to the dismay and astonishment of just about everyone around him) because he is hearing voices that are telling him to do it... "If you build it, he will come."
Well, I am hearing voices too, I guess. Or more like cries and coos and babbles.
So, I am "building". I want he or she to come. I am rebuilding my thought process. I am going to stop being cautiously scared. I am going to start thinking, talking, acting like this year I will be pregnant. And sticky pregnant. Like I will be holding a baby in my arms after hours of labor and pushing pregnant. I have to walk the talk. And I took a baby step towards that today. I bought very chic baby shower invitations at Target that were marked down to an incredible $1.24 for a pack of 10. I bought 3 packs. ;) And that whole being scared to jinx myself complex?? Out the window! It sure as hell didn't do a whole lot of good for me this last pregnancy. The only things I allowed myself to buy then were a couple of books. I let the fiance buy me one maternity skirt because he said it was so me (and it was marked down to 10 bucks). I wouldn't dare let myself buy a single baby item, no matter how cute or how much of a bargain it was. The Fear of Jinxing Myself era is OVER.
I am also physically building myself over. I have a few diagnostic tests scheduled in the near future. Depending on the findings I get from one of them, I may literally be getting a few upgrades to the lady parts. I still take my prenatal vitamins religiously every morning. If I build it in my heart, my mind, my lady parts, then I know he/she will come.
"You can begin feeling whatever you want (even if it's not there).. the universe will correspond to the nature of your song." ~ The Secret
